The Interview!

On March 25, I interviewed my grandparents who were married for over 40 years and still going strong. My grandparents are Celerino Manio and Elena Manabat but I call them Papa and Mama. I interviewed them unannounced at their home at Friday, evening. They were still wearing their ‘pambahay’ clothes but still allowed me to take a picture. The interview went like this:

M: I am Elena Manabat Manio. The grandmother of Miles. I am 64 years old. I was born in Manila.

P: My name is Celerino C. Manio. I am 65 years old and born in Tondo, Manila.

I: How did you two meet?

P: We met through friends, barkadas in Tayuban Tondo in Manila in the early 60’s

I: What is your love story or how did you fall in love with one another?

P: Oo nga ba, how? Haha!

M: We used to go out with the barkadas in the 1960… Whens that?

P: 64

M: Mga ano yun?

P: Mag attend ako ng debut niya nung July 1964. Girldriend nab a kita noon? Not yet ano. From then on we were going out with our friends.

M: We would get to different places

P: and that’s where we fell in love with one another.

I: Why did you get married?

P: I was only. Ano. Sort of… intimidated by my wife that I cannot face his father to ask his permission for us to get married. And I don’t like to be… being dared and you know during those days the guys around or their neighbors… they were interested in her were all timid or cowards. That they cannot go to their house… but I. I don’t care, I did not care how his parents would react but I wanted to go there and court her. And that’s what I did. It does not matter and then her parents were suplado and suplada… Mahigpit and the rest is history… later on she was the one very eager to marry me.

(laughter)

I: I’d have to ask if your still having sex…

P: Sex… uh… 7 times a week

M: HAHAHA!

P: In our dreams!

(laughter)

P: Your lola is ano… I don’t know what happened to her but during her younger days she is always ano… she always surrender when I comes to sex… but when she turned senior citizen… she is very active… she wanted sex everyday. I don’t know what happened to her… maybe its… that how time is getting back at her

M: Maybe before were so busy working to earn a living for the family, now since the children have their own family and their… maybe I am retired and just relax.

I: How does it affect your marriage?

P: You know when you turn 60 or become a senior citizen you always… you don’t know why you become irritable… you cannot ano yun cannot accept words sometimes… you have to get back… words against words… and then at the end its understanding and love would play a major part.

I: Do you still do things to court your spouse?

P: Yes we… I… Your lola, my wife when I need money and I know she has money… hahaha… no but its process…

M: Now he is so good… he is serving me

P: were always together now being retired and we have more time now to one another especially that your lola was accident… met an accident in the… ano… bathroom… so she slide in December 209 and her hip bone was broken and she has to be operated on and it was replaced with titanium so your lola now is bionic because about 20 years ago she had the same operation when her broken arms was… replaced... no… where she has to be operated on and her broken arms and another still… uh… arms so I call her bionic because… she had…

M: Now that’s why he used to help me, run errands for me because I cannot move… so much

I: Do you still go on dates?

P: Yes something often times… go and see around the Philippines we always wanted to go around the Philippines as we had done during our younger days where we go abroad and we did that without anybody knowing… and just left the children to our parents and told them we will just go somewhere not really telling them we are in Hong Kong, Singapore, and other places.

I: Do you still love your partner as much as you have loved him or her or is it stronger than before?

P: Yes in a sense… uh… the more… uh… we should be closer to one another especially now that the children are married, they have their own family

I: Why did you decide to have children?

P: Of course that’s… uh… nature between a couple when they get… decide to get married they immediately think of having children by so doing to have a family.

I: How many children did you have?

P: Well we have 5. 4 girls and 1 boy but… uh… maybe family planning… well I am telling my wife we will have at least a dozen if we did not go on family planning… you can just imagine if you have 12 children you will have more mouths to feed… so you have to earn more also…

I: How have your children affected your marriage?

P: Children play a very major role in the life of husband and wife because they serve as the inspiration of the parents… the children are… uh… considered a…

M: Gift from God…

P: Gift from God… where parents are normally are very much attached to their children…

I: So was it hard to see that your children are already gone (live on their own)?

P: Its not really that hard because as… uh… as parents we were brought up in an atmosphere of… uh.. of expecting..

I: What are the problems you have encountered along the way?

P: Many problems have been encountered as we have.. uh.. .encountered and have experienced…

M: Actually we don’t have problems because talagang were bessed… God really guided us and gave us everything that we need… Up to now everyday is a miracle for us even if we don’t have… uh… assured income when we need something… God really gives us all those things…

I: So what has faith/religion done to help your marriage?

P: Religion plays a very important role in the life of husband and wife because we are predominantly Catholic… we do not have divorce or we don’t recognize separation from the family… its faith that keeps husband and wife closer…

I: What are the highlights of your marriage?

P: The highlights of our marriage… when our children have their college and have their own families as you have observed… as our grandchildren… you are 15 and each member of the family has been successful in their…

P: Own chosen career… the highlights of one’s marriage is not measured in success or failures… we have to realize our own limitations and our shortcomings…

I: What are the values you have gained during the course of your marriage?

P: values… I for one did not… uh… I did not allow myself to be influenced by… by material things… I believe that during marriage and its… getting old… one has to learn… that it is an opportunity to be as humble as possible… don’t let anything change your character…

I: Do you believe that you had a good marriage?

P: We’ve been married twice at 1968 & 1969 so that’s about 43 years… 42 years… what is it again?

I:Do you believe you have a good marriage?

P: Yes by… we believe we have not only good marriage but… uh… we have one that… up to now… we enjoy… the relationship we are trying to improve… and then maybe… as you grow older… you melt… mellow and become more understanding…

I: After everything that you have went to in the marriage, are you happy?

P: I am very happy, I don’t know about my wife… hahaha…

Mama & Papa =D

Marraige? Expectations? Whats new? (Reflection 2)

On that day I was feeling a bit nervous with going mostly because I thought that there would be a lot of lovey dovey young couples and I would be out of please (also I was a bit late). Anyway, as I arrived there I saw a lot of old couples and started thinking, would I be that old when I want to get married or have a chance to? I actually don’t want to be that old when I would get married, I mean how would I enjoy the fun of being young, energetic, and promiscuous at that age? My partner would be that old also, EW! No, think that I won’t allow that to happen, I want to be married young. Moving on, I am happy that when I came there that I had an open mind and ready to experience what the pre cana (which I originally thought was pre-k) seminar is all about. Well I had an idea that it would be about marriage since it is a pre-wedding seminar. Duh. Anyway moving on again. During the talk I correlated having a girlfriend and having a wife the same when being there because I didn’t have a wife and I wanted to evaluate myself if I am being a good boyfriend and if I am ready to be married. I don’t know if I am ready but I believe that I have some aspects in a good marriage down, such as good communication, which I truly believe that I have been doing my best to fulfill in my relationship. Why do I say this? It is because I created a honesty policy between us where we promised to tell each other everything, even the not so good to hear stuff. This creates a good line of communication between one another. This also allows us to talk about our problems between one another, to at least try to fix it before it escalates any further. Another reason as to why I believe that I have good communication with my girlfriend is that I always hang out with her, especially after school so we could talk about anything and everything. I believe this is because, before she was my girlfriend, she was my best friends. This makes it natural for us to hang out all the time. I don’t really understand how everything became the way it is but I am happy for it. I am willing to endure our petty fights just as long as I get to stay with her. I really want to work on this relationship. But during the talk, I did notice something about us. I did feel unappreciated at the time. This revelation happened when the speaker was talking about how one should appreciate what the other tries to do for them. I mean, I have been doing a lot to show her I am working on this relationship. I always text er good night and good morning (even if she doesn’t reply back), buy her desserts or sweets just for her (at random times, of course), always making ‘hatid’ to her jeep, and I always try to be sweet with her. But the problem is, I don’t even see if she appreciates my gestures or not. What she sees is that I am being ‘KSP’. Maybe that’s why I get really annoyed at times. Needless to say, I talked to her about it afterward and we resolved the issue. She became more appreciative and I became less sweet. Now I barely text her at night or morning. Anyway, moving on. I do believe I learned quite a lot from the pre cana seminar. Especially about how it opened my eyes to the evil behind the RH Bill. Before I truly believed that it was right, but not anymore. I do believe that this experience was truly eventful and one that I hope to receive only one more time in the upcoming future. 

What a Happy family :D

Me and my girlfriend now :D

Pre-Wedding Expectations! (Reflection 1)

As I reflect on my experience during the talk, I believe that I was evaluating myself and seeing if I am qualified to be ready, since I do planning on getting married one day. I may not be sure as to why I will get married in the future, but I do know that it will be because of love. And I am not an idiot to just jump into these things without planning; I know that I will think about it very well before popping the question to my future wife. If I think about it really well, I believe that I can actually get married at this time. I may not be as mature as the others and I may have a short temper but I already follow the things that the speaker has said. As he said, to have a happy marriage you must have good communication with your partner. If I compare my married life with how I conduct my relationship with my girlfriend, I believe I have good communications skills but I have to improve on some parts. I noticed that I do make time and take time to communicate with my girlfriend as I always hang out with her after classes and talk with her about stuff. I always do it because I want to be with her and hang out with her and if we do have problems we could talk about it properly without any distractions. But I do have to work on the way we handle our problems at the start, I mean I do. It is because when I get annoyed I would ignore her and make ‘tampo’ until the end of the day, which isn’t something that I should do. I was also struck when he talked about the part of appreciating what your partner does for you. Since at that time I believed that she isn’t appreciating me enough for all the things I do for her and that I should talk to her after this, which I did and it turned out better than I thought. Anyway, back to topic, as I think about the whole session and what he has thought me. Even though I believe that I may be ready to be wed, I still have to be mature enough to handle the responsibilities like a good husband and father should. It will take a long time before I will get married but I hope that once I take my second and final pre-cana seminar, that I, along with my partner, exemplifies everything that one should have in a loving and fruitful marriage. I also do hope that I will be a great father and husband. And as the speaker told us in his presentation “love each other as Christ Jesus loved you, take care of each other and grow in the love of Jesus Christ.” And I promise I will.

(I created two reflections for the pre-cana so please endure reading them for I worked hard on them both :)) )

A wedding I would like to have :)

My Girlfriend (No plans on marrying her btw :)) )

My Adventure In Mary Immaculate Parish!

On January 29 2011, I attended a pre-cana seminar at Mary Immaculate Parish in Moonwalk Village, Talon V Las Pinas City by the MIP Family Life Ministry. As I recall, this was actually the first time I entered the parish. I never went there before and I thought that the parish was actually a park or a zoo, whenever I passed it by heading to school. I never actually thought that it could have been a parish. The entrance just looks too magnificent. When I arrived at the location, I was asking around for the pre-cana seminar location, I was fairly lost. A few kind people directed me to the location and, when I entered, I tried to look for a seat first before looking around at the couples. At first I really didn’t see that much but when I looked around I saw a lot of old couples. I was actually expecting to a lot of young couples wanting to get married. Most of them were around the ages of 40 – 60 years old and all of them wanted to get a traditional marriage at a church since they got married at the judge from the start. I was actually quite shocked and pleased to find out their reason for getting married. It was nice and as the saying goes, it is better late than never.

            The seminar was just in a small house-like building, one floor, and it looked like a presentation room. Where there is nothing but chairs, a few tables and a projector. The session started off normally, by the speaker introducing himself to us (I can’t remember their names K ) and telling us what will come. He even told us that it would take a whole day for the pre cana seminar, which made me worry because I had a lot of stuff to do that day. But he assured us he can finish it in half a day’s time. The speaker then talked about the important stuff about marriage. The speaker asked “why do you get married?” The couples in the seminar started to answer by saying that it is a blessing from God, it is a way to get into Heaven, it is for love, and because it is a sacrament. He acknowledged their answers and started his talk by explaining why their answers were correct. I, for one, totally agree with the love portion, I believe that the first reason why one should get married is because of love. Not the falling in love, phase of love, but the willing to work on it love phase. People will always fall in love but when that happens, they have two choices to make, leave or work on it. I believe the only time one should get married is when they have started on working on their love. It shows that they are willing to work on it and they are going to last for a very long time. He then talked about the inappropriate reasons for one to get married, such as forced marriage and marriage on the rebound. He also discussed about the obstacles to a good marriage. These obstacles are poor communication and inappropriate reasons. But he did give us the secret to a good marriage that is the desire to make your partner happy. When you have that desire to make your partner happy you truly love that person. Now, what should be shown in a good marriage? That is the visible sign that Christ is with you in your marriage, to know one’s responsibilities, and to be a good example to other couples. Care, openness, respect, understanding, and responsibility is shown when a couple loves one another. How about prayer in marriage? Prayer is of vital importance in marriage because living a life for the love of God is as important as being faithful in prayer. He then explained the importance of appreciating your partner. During the talk we even had activities and the couples shared stuff about their spouses. It was really sweet. The talk, all in all, was very inspiring and I learned a lot. After he finished his talk (it was almost lunch time) he then gave a brief talk about the RH bill. He enlightened me about why the church is against it and the bad side of the bill. And I believe he was right about the evils of the RH bill. After all of that, they gave us free lunch which I humbly accepted. I even walked home (took me an hour) after that, it was actually a good day for a walk. I had a real blast. This was a really great 

experience.

Mary Immaculate Parish Church

Mary Immaculate Parish Entrance

Sample old couple that looks like the old couples at the pre-cana seminar (Forgot to bring my camera that day)